Better things to do

The truth is that though I get a lot done, I still find myself slacking off…and deservedly so. I’m obsessive when it comes to problem solving to the point I get really tired after learning code, or drawing, or writing. I find it hard to repeat the same feats the next day. And so I turn to my phone; rightly so. I do a lot, and I feel it’s not enough. I could go seven or eight hours doing work and still feel like I haven’t done much and loathe myself for turning to my phone when I’m done working. I hate being on the phone but, I’ve discovered, I have nothing better to do than being on the phone. I don’t spend as much time as other people online (it can be two hours in a week, if I’m really into working), but still, I want to do other things. I had found this so frustrating until it all came to me.

I’ll continue using my phone. No matter how many times I delete social media, or tell myself to work a little harder next time—all this because I’m afraid of going out and meeting people. I’ve finally admitted that I’d rather be on the phone than go out and get me a girlfriend or something. I’ve ended up hurting people because I don’t want my ego to be broken. Well, my new schedule is now here to turn my world upside down.

I recent learned that I’m not a kind of person who can work on projects in little bits, let’s say an hour of each day. A term to describe it is a marathon. I’ve tried to work in marathons, but I’ve found that I work best in highly intense sprints and rests at the end. I can work a combined fifteen hours in three days as opposed to maybe two hours a day for seven days. I have no trouble getting things done, only resting and what to do when resting. And I want to try out new things, that’s all. Instead of being on the phone while I’m waiting to get back to working, I want to go out and hang out with other people. I have enough time for myself.